


stay with me (in this year and the next)

by kittykais



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cars, Fluff, Late Night Drives, M/M, New Years, New Years Eve, Oops, Self projection, basically just jilix in a car but theres 1k of me, im scared and felix is too, kissing tho, ranting about 2020 before that, the summary is kinda suggestive but theres not smut, yes i wrote this instead of sleeping and what of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykais/pseuds/kittykais
Summary: Felix closes his eyes, smiles, and lets Jisung work open his mouth with his own, looping his arms over Jisung’s shoulders and bringing him as close as possible. The moon shines down on them, the only witness of their activities tonight. It’s 10:15pm.OR: the jilix new years oneshot for sudhi in which jilix go out on a late night drive, break driving etiquette and make out in an empty parking lot before wishing the decade away  ヾ(≧▽≦*)oSTARRING: two gay college juniors by the name of han jisung and lee felixFEATURING: my overwhelming fear of the end of 2020(dont be shy, drop a comment ;) )
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Comments: 14
Kudos: 38





	stay with me (in this year and the next)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soobasaur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobasaur/gifts).



> (written to drive by halsey)
> 
> have fun (and remember to keep your seatbelts on)

It’s December 31th, 2020. The last day of the decade. Felix has been dreading this day for a long time. A very long time. But can you blame him? The decade is going to end. _2020_ is going to end for heaven’s sake. 

This year was a wild ride, one of the most interesting years Felix has had in his entire twenty years of life. And the fact that it’s ending, so soon (time is a social construct, a mere concept invented by pitiful humans a long, _long_ time ago, maybe in another 2020). 

The year has been full of so many. So many ups and downs, highs and lows, goods and bads. Maybe Felix should list them. 

Good Thing #1: Jisung. Meeting Jisung. Dating Jisung. Being with Jisung. Loving Jisung. Jisung. Han Jisung. With Jisung, Felix has been happy. Happier than he has been in a long time. (That sounds so _cringey._ Is it cringey? Is Felix being cringey? Is this his true fate?)

 _God_ , Felix loves Jisung so much. They met at the beginning of 2020, when the pandemic hadn’t existed and they were both struggling freshmen trying to get a bread roll in the cafeteria line of UC Berkeley. (Neither of them got a bread roll that day, far too caught up in the other for their food.) And since that eventful day, _so many_ new people have entered Felix’s life. For once, it’s not dull. (The colors tend to pop when you’re happy, dull yellows changing into golden hues and sun rays. It would be magical if it weren’t oh so real.)

Felix loves the curve of Jisung’s cheeks and the sharpness of his jawline, his heart shaped smile and the way his eyes sparkle when he’s happy. He loves Jisung’s messy desk, the way he bites his lips when he’s concentrating, the way he hums random melodies under his breath and taps out rhythms on Felix’s thighs. Felix loves him _so much_. He’s the Number One Good Thing in his life. In fact, Han Jisung might just be one of the Best Things in Felix’s life. 

He loves him. And that’s a fact. 

Good Thing #2: Brownie! As in Brownie the Cat ™. Brownie, characterized by the fact that Felix loves brownies and he loves his cat. And so therefore, by the Transitive Property of Love, Felix had named her Brownie, even though the kitten’s coat was stark white. White chocolate brownie maybe? Was that even a thing? Was it possible? Is white chocolate real chocolate? (No.) Brownie the cat has made...coping with everything that’s going on (the pandemic, the election, daily college student struggles, online school...etc etc) a lot easier. 

It has been scientifically proven that cuddling pets makes your stress level go down and Felix can most definitely attest for that. (Also, his dance professor absolutely _adores_ cats, so Brownie helps Felix earn _brownie points_ from his professors. So yes. The cat has been a definite plus in his life. (He loves her so much.)

Good Thing #3: Felix finally has a stable friend group! Thank you amazing dance senior named Minho and best friend Hyunjin and boyfriend named Jisung. Felix adores them. Adores them from the tip of Jeongin’s fluffy hair to the bottom of Chan’s black combat boots. Loves that they’re accepting and kind and love him _for him_ . (Goddamnit Felix, when did you get so _sappy_ ? Must be because it’s the end of the year. Yeah, it’s definitely because it’s the end of the year. There’s no other reason for it, _really_.)

2020 has been chock full of Good Things. But then again, it has also been full of Bad Things. Felix sighs. 

Bad Thing #1: COVID-19. The pandemic. Quarantine. Felix loves the outdoors. He despises being cooped up in one place for too long, always needing to go out to the studio or the gym in order to burn off stress for a while so he doesn’t explode because of everything. But in quarantine he can’t exactly do that. He can’t go outside. He can’t go to the gym. He can’t go to the studio and dance his heart out to nostalgic songs that make him cry. He’s cooped up here, in his own tiny little apartment that he shares with Jisung. 

It was fine at first. He has gym equipment here at home. He had made some space in their tiny living room so he could dance. It was a little cramped but it was fine. Everything was fine. But then. But then it wasn’t. Staying inside for too long wasn’t easy, and it never will be. 

Bad Thing #2: Online school. No really. What the fuck. Felix was a _dance major_ for heaven’s sake. He needed to be there, physically on campus. Not behind a Zoom screen, hoping that his professor was still able to make out and help him fix the mistakes he was making, hoping for improvement. Not at his tiny apartment with terrible wifi. 

He’s gotten the worst grades he’s ever gotten in his entire life this year. (Because where’s the motivation? Where’s the drive to go work instead of laze around all day and eat chips while watching the same show over and over and over again and maybe make out with his boyfriend. After all, there isn’t exactly anyone to _stop him_. (Except Chan. Chan’s possibly the only source of motivation Felix has at this point, as well as the kisses Jisung threatens to take away, even though Felix knows that Jisung would never actually go through with the threat.)

He wishes online school will die a painful, horrible death. In a hole somewhere, preferably. Maybe a ditch. Maybe both. 

Bad Thing #3. Oh my god where is the fucking _sanity_ in this Chiles tonight? Because it is definitely not here. Not here at all. 

So yes, overall, 2020 has been a fucking _mess_. But still, Felix is sad to see it go. It was a slightly wholesome mess, at the very least. 

\---

Felix was just planning on sitting on his couch and watching the day go by today. He wants to savor this day for as long as he can, eating his favorite foods and having his favorite drama playing in the background. The blinds are open, letting in the fresh sunlight from outside. Felix feels as if he’s in a trance, sitting quietly as time flows around him. Jisung is doing the same, writing lyrics slowly, slower than usual, thinking about the words this time. 

It’s surreal. Sunlight flows through the open windows into their living room, illuminating the tiny specks of dust that float in the air. It...looks pretty. Very pretty. Sunlight falls on Jisung as he writes, a band of light going across his face, eyes melted honey in the light. Felix trails his small fingers over Jisung’s cheek, stopping at the moles that Jisung cherishes so much. Jisung pays him no mind, just a small twitch of his lips to let Felix know he’s been noticed. 

Felix goes back to the drama playing on the TV but he isn’t actually watching. Today, time seems to be flowing slowly, just for the two of them. They both have black hair this time. Natural colors. Jisung’s dressed in a soft black button up that slides slightly off his shoulders, pretty collarbones peeking out.

Felix lays his head on Jisung’s shoulder and lets his eyes glaze over and breathing even out. They sway to the soft melodies coming from Jisung’s pursed lips. Felix relaxes and lets time flow once again.

When dusk hits and the sun starts to go down, Jisung stands up abruptly and pulls Felix into their car. “Jisung?” Felix asks, looking around in confusion. “What are you doing?”

Jisung just grins at him, lips turning into hearts and doe eyes crinkling at the corners. Felix falls more and more in love with him. 

Jisung throws a mask at him and Felix puts it on, sliding into the passenger seat. “We’re going to the mall.” Felix frowns. Why are they going to the mall on New Years Eve at 7pm in the middle of a global pandemic. 

He voices this out loud, and Jisung just throws his head back and _laughs_ . (His laugh is so so _so_ pretty, you have absolutely no idea how pretty Han Jisung’s laugh is.) 

They sit in the car, and drive, the sun setting behind them. It feels like they’re running away from the sun. From 2020. From the end of well. The decade. Running from reality. In this car, Felix feels safe. He turns on the radio. Katy Perry blasts out. They’re playing the _nostalgic_ songs today. How fitting. 

They drive and drive and drive some more. Felix had ended up reclining his seat to put up his legs on the dashboard, the city blurring by. Felix lays his head against the window and watches as lights combine with others and create streaks of whites and reds and blues against stark black. Shadows of people in the buildings. No one breathes. No one makes a sound. It’s just them. 

Lights are on and his hand is intertwined with his boyfriend and the songs he’s loved so much since he was ten years old are playing. In this moment of time, in this little bubble of space they’ve created for themself, life couldn’t be better. 

Felix can’t hear his thoughts or his worries over how loud the music is, over the sound of his and Jisung’s intermingling voices, lows mixed with the higher pitch of Jisung’s voice. It creates a cacophony of music and Felix is sure everyone they pass hates them for being _so damn loud_. Jisung takes his time driving. He’s leaning back, one hand on the steering wheel with a full blown smirk on his lips, black button up with three buttons unbuttoned, exposing smooth skin for miles and miles. Felix wants to kiss it. So he does. 

Felix unbuckles his seatbelt, shushing Jisung quietly when the older protests and mumbles something about “car safety” or something. It doesn’t matter. Felix doesn’t care. They’ll be fine. 

“Felix what the hell are you doing, I’ll crash the car.” Jisung hisses, glaring at Felix lightly when his lips attach to Jisung’s neck, pushing down Jisung’s shirt even more. Felix just giggles and squeezes Jisung’s hand tighter. 

“Babe, I trust you. You won’t crash the car.” Jisung whispers a soft “fuck you” under his breath and grumbles something about hickeys and devil boyfriends hiding inside the face of an angel. Felix just giggles and presses a kiss to Jisung’s cheek. And then another. And another. And another and another and another until Jisung’s entire face is covered with kisses. Felix is in such an odd position, body twisted uncomfortably across the seats, holding himself up with one hand resting on the armrest of Jisung’s seat and the other hand laying across Jisung’s pillowy cheek. 

Jisung swats him away, cheeks tinged pink. He looks so cute when he’s flustered. Felix tells him as such and takes pride in the way his cheeks just go even _darker_. 

The rest of the ride goes smoothly. Felix traces patterns over Jisung’s knuckles, lacing their fingers from time to time and pressing soft, butterfly kisses against the smooth skin. (At one point he also bites Jisung’s thumb, just to get a rise out of him. Jisung glares at him while singing Despacito and butchering up all the words. It’s endearing.) 

And finally, _finally_ , they arrive. At the mall. “We’re here!” Jisung yells, slipping on his mask and falling ungracefully outside the car. He leaves the engine on, the car warm and sputtering still. Felix yawns through his mask, stretching and letting the hem of his sweater ride up a little. 

He feels Jisung’s gaze on him, heavy and full of...something. Felix can’t pinpoint the exact emotion that lies in Jisung’s gaze but something is there, something light and breezy but dark at the same time. It’s exhilarating. The night is calm. Cool. The sky is clear. So clear that Felix can see the stars if he squints. 

Jisung walks over to Felix’s side of the car, crowding him against the door and pressing their lips together, hands tangling in Felix’s hair. He’s been growing it out recently, too lazy to cut it himself and too untrustworthy of Jisung with scissors near his hair. 

They’re alone here, in the parking lot. There’s a spare car or two , but those always seem to be illusions. Are they real? Does someone own them? Or do they simply exist in this parking lot, unowned and too tired to find their way home. 

Felix closes his eyes, smiles, and lets Jisung work open his mouth with his own, looping his arms over Jisung’s shoulders and bringing him as close as possible. The moon shines down on them, the only witness of their activities tonight. It’s 10:15pm. 

Jisung pulls back, resting his forehead against Felix’s, looking deeply into his eyes. It’s so cold out here. Jisung’s breath freezing up and mingling with Felix’s own. “You’re so beautiful.” Jisung whispers. As if it’s a secret that only he knows. And maybe it is. Maybe no one will ever be able to see Felix like Jisung does. 

“And so are you.” Felix whispers, eyes softening as he looks at his boyfriend. Jisung kisses him in lieu of answering. Felix responds happily, not needing a verbal answer. He sighs into Jisung’s mouth, snaking a hand down to where Jisung’s hand lies and intertwining their fingers. 

Jisung squeezes lightly. 

Felix squeezes back. 

Time stills. And then it flows. It flows and it flows and it flows until two hours pass and Jisung and Felix are sitting on the hood of their car, watching the moon. 

“I can’t believe 2020 is ending.” Jisung whispers. 

“I know”. Felix whispers back, squeezing Jisung’s hand softly. “It doesn’t feel real.” 

Jisung smirks, moving to lay a leg over Felix’s, humming in content. “What if it isn’t? What if we’re now going to wake up in bed and it’s actually January 1st and we just dreamt of the future.” Jisung sits up and gasps, eyes going wide. “Felix, baby, what if we’re magical oracle people like that girl from _Percy Jackson_ .” His eyes go even wider. “Felix what if we _are_ in the Percy Jackson series?” 

Felix starts laughing, pressing a hand to his lips to try and stop himself but it’s no use. The laughter spills out of him and there’s no stopping it, watching as Jisung goes onto his knees and gestures at the moon. “UNCLE RICK IF YOU’RE HEARING THIS I LOVE YOU PLEASE WRITE ME INTO YOUR UNIVERSE I CAN BE THE CUTE GAY SQUIRREL WHO’S MADLY IN LOVE WITH ANNABETH’S CAT OR SOMETHING.”

Jisung opens his mouth to say more, but before he can, Felix pulls him in for a kiss, lips moving slowly against the other and fingers laced together. Jisung smiles against Felix’s lips, pulling him closer to sit on his lap. All thoughts of Rick Riordan and alternate universes fade away until it’s only Felix and Jisung, in a new year. 

2020 is over. 

**Author's Note:**

> it is 12:22am right now
> 
> i sat down about two hours ago and wrote this in one sitting so it is: unedited as always smh
> 
> anyways jilix >>> sleep 🤩🤩🤩 sudhi ily <3 
> 
> drop a comment! give me that validation ;) ;) ;) 
> 
> stay safe <3


End file.
